20/03/2009 by Pete.

I don’t know if you are familiar with this small innocuous gents’ 
shaving accessory. Before the advent of the safety razor, it was an 
essential part of a shaving kit.  In the event of a small nick or cut, 
a dab with the old styptic pencil would stem the flow of blood – 
although it does impart a bit of a sting – just like magic!  I don’t 
know how it works and I don’t care – it just does.

I always carry one of these little demons in my wash bag and it has 
come to my rescue on numerous occasions.  Recently however I found 
myself away from home and standing in front of a bathroom mirror with 
my weapon of destruction in my hand . . . yes - my bloody razor of 
course - what else?!  (By the way aren’t those magnifying mirrors 
found in many hotel bathrooms – you know, the ones with the light in 
them - scary f***ers?   I always seem to have hairs growing out of my 
ears and nose that definitely aren’t there when I’m at home!) Anyway – 
I digress . . .

Suddenly disaster struck and I nicked myself just under my nose.  
Pain!  Blood!  No problem – reach for the styptic stick.  Nowhere to 
be found. Oh Hell!  Show time less than an hour away.  Ah well, just 
have to resort to wandering around the room for ten minutes with a 
piece of tissue stuck to my face.  Glam eh??

Of course, once attached, this is easily forgotten about and I settle 
back to watch TV.  So, cut to a few minutes later when I happen to 
catch sight of myself in the mirror.  The tissue, now saturated with 
blood, has dried out completely and stuck fast to my face.  Oh F**k!

Grimacing into the aforementioned magnifying mirror, I gingerly try to 
prise the tissue away from the wound.  Almost . . . bugger!  I’m 
bleeding again – and worse, it seems, than before.  And this is where 
the madness takes over.  I search through my wash bag once again in 
the vain hope that the little styptic miracle was simply hiding from 
me earlier.  Then I see it.  Smiling up at me.  A Lynx roll-on 
deodorant!  I wonder . . .could it? . . would it work?

Desperate times call for desperate measures so I decided to give it a 
go.  Well!  PAIN! OW! PAIN!  Followed by a lot of swearing and some 
very bizarre naked leaping and dancing.

I can happily report that a Lynx roll-on deodorant will stop blood 
from a shaving cut more or less instantly.  But you better brace 
yourself for a bit of a shock!

Next time – the effects of red chillis when applied as a remedy for 
haemorrhoids!

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06/03/2009 by Andy.

When the Millenium Dome was unveiled most people, me included, saw it as a white elephant until I paid a visit in 2002. I was amazed at the sheer size of the place and almost immediately realised that the “building” (ok tent!) had not yet found its forte. 2005 saw it unveiled as the O2 Arena and from there my view turned from scepticism to admiration (if only it were in West London). I have been to see many events now and apart from its location I am really taken with it especially O2 Indigo as a venue - I don’t go to many shows these days but Chick Corea and Return to Forever July 2008 is a true highlight . Last year I got an invite to view the “Tutankhamen” exhibition in the Bubble because this is where the BME was to make its home. BME is the British eqivalent of the American “Hall of Fame” and it has been a long time coming in my opinion.

So last night was the launch party for BME  and I went along with Jan Tucker to see how “Sweet” fitted into the equation. Mick’s “Blockbuster” suit and my Gibson 335 looked great in a display case alongside Marc Bolan’s Flying V, Dave Hill’s “Yob” guitar and one of Suzi’s leather jumpsuits. We were amazed, it really is a great experience. I suggest you go asap! Apart from the exhibits there are so many interactive areas, so much so that we didn’t realise how time had flown, 2 hours later we left for the party and we’d only skimmed the surface. I met quite a few faces from my past, ranging from Kenny Ball (a young 79!) to Rat Scabies plus other band members of all shapes, sizes and age groups. I won’t spoil the finale but let’s just say it’s like being at all the great gigs all at the same time. BME will stand as a testament to British Music - Lonnie Donegan and Cliff and the Shadows, The Beatles and Stones, The Who and Led Zep, 70’s Glam Rock, Punk and 80’s New Romantics, 90’s Boy/Girl bands and the Noughties singer-songwriters, something for everyone.

British is still Best!

ps We got caught up in the “Michael Jackson Experience” and had to wait to let him through the security gate. After 5 minutes and a few laughs the extremely likeable security chief lifted the barrier and said “he’s already kept everyone waiting for 90 minutes so who knows if or when he’s coming - in you go, sorry for the delay”. A very nice man.

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